Hamish has been constipated for 14 months, so Trevor persuades him to try an extremely unorthodox cure. Meanwhile, JP asks the cat to go away with him for a dirty weekend.
Whilst sitting in the downstairs toilet, Hamish has a vision of the Archangel Gabriel and decides to dedicate himself to God. In the meantime, Trevor tries to persuade the cat to dress up for him as a nun.
Trevor assumes the guise of Sherlock Holmes in order to solve, once and for all, the mystery of Jack the Ripper, while Hamish discovers the delights of having sex with a Victorian washstand.
Using Hamish’s name, Trevor borrows thousands of pounds from a dangerous gangster and bets the lot on a horse called The Stumbler. When the horse fails to win, a terrified Hamish prepares for the worst.
Trevor drives everyone in the house around the bend when he gets an unbearable itch in the middle of his back and can’t reach it.
Trevor tells a hungover Hamish that while drunk he has had sex with the cat. So, when it’s discovered that the cat is pregnant, Hamish decides to do the decent thing.
The Pets debut episode in the UK. Christmas can arrive at almost any time of year (if the programme scheduling is bad enough!), but even in the middle of March, Hamish still manages to burn the turkey.