Glossary

Source: British Comedy Guide

Inspired by Clockwork Orange, Pets includes an interesting selection of invented words in order to be foul-mouthed while still being acceptable to the censors at Channel 4. Here’s a list of some of the more common examples:

Bolivers n. Canine testicles.

Buffing the Vampire Slayer – To masturbate furiously.

Catsnatch n. The genitals of a female cat.

Collopy n. Small cat turd.

Dogstar n. Arse or arsehole.

Egghatch n. Parrot’s anus.

Emptying the custard bag – Routine canine ejaculation.

Eyegrout v. To perform cunnilingus on a cat.

Feather Dick n. Canine nickname for a parrot.

Gutgrimace v. – To go to the toilet.

Growler n. – Canine erection.

Hewitt n. – Toilet bowl.

Karzo n. – Water closet.

Lagwit n. – Parrot.

Pink Whippet  n. – Canine penis.

Pugbox n. – The genitals of a small female dog.

Savaloy supper n. Canine fellatio.

Spag v. – To mate with a large rodent.

Spangle n. – Canine semen.

Spangle blisters n. – Canine testicles.

Spangle sacks n. – See “Spangle blisters”.

Spaniel Tits n. – One with nipples like a female spaniel.